Friday, May 6, 2016

Please Stop Feeling Bad For Me Because I'm Single

"So how's your love life?" 
"Are you seeing anyone?"
"Any boy developments?" 

These are the questions I dread getting from family and friends, and hate answering even more. While these conversation often begin harmless and innocent, they typically end rich in pity and gross sympathy. People, please stop feeling bad for me because I'm single.


For starters, I'm only twenty-four. 
Relationships are not a race. Like running, people go at their own pace and there is no medal for getting to the alter first. If I'm still single in twenty years, then you all have my permission to pity me, but for now, let me enjoy my twenties however I want!

I'm doing pretty great on my own. 
I have a kick-ass job I love, in a kick-ass city I love. Both of which, I achieved on my own. Why is that not good enough? I'm incredibly proud of what I've accomplished to-date, so stop making it seem like my life could only be good if I was in a relationship. It just sqwashes everything I've worked for! 


Dating sucks, so I don't do it much
If you knew how much time I have to spend swiping left and right, sifting through the "DTFs?" and playing the stupid back and forth game before I nail down a (usually awful) first date, you wouldn't date either. Instead, I choose to hang out with friends, go to the gym, read a good book or do something I know will be worth my time. 

Yeah. I'm picky.
Even my mom would agree, I've always had high standards. Whether it was the flare jeans I "needed" from Limited Too when I was 7 or the men I choose to date now.  You should never feel bad or guilty about turning down guys that are just "ok". My roommate's cat is a better man than half of the guys I've dated. And the only settling I'll accept is from a tall dark stout.



Conclusion: You make me feel bad about being single. So stop. 
There is nothing sad, wrong or depressing about being single, so stop making seem like it is. I only have the tolerance for self-pity.  If you feel inclined to take pity upon me, feel free to do it about the following:
  • My rent is way too expensive 
  •  I still sleep with stuffed animals 
  •  There aren't any good bagels in San Francisco 
  •  I have never eaten Taco Bell 

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Hello. It's Me.

Hello stranger.

It's been almost a year since I posted and wanted to get you up to speed before I begin posting regularly again. I know you cannot wait to hear all about my latest shenanigans like how I accidentally kinda broke into an open Uber car or how I deleted all of my dating apps, and I cannot wait to share all of it with you!

Where I Left Off --
Celebrated my first year in advertising and everything was going incredibly well. I was living the dream in New York City and I couldn't be happier.

What Happened Next --
Things started to go downhill at work when members of my account team began to depart from the agency. It happens. It's the way the industry works. I spent the summer trying to keep up with the overwhelming amount of work as senior management scrambled to fill the vacancies. It didn't take long for the consistent 12-hour work days to burn me down. During this time I was tired, frustrated, emotionally fragile and ultimately felt lost. I'd always been one to juggle a million balls and when I struggled to keep all of the balls from hitting the floor, it felt like every ounce of who I was was quickly draining. Work haunted me every minute of every day. It's all I ever thought about and it was tearing me up from the inside. Eventually I'd lost sight of why I even wanted to work in advertising.

The Big Move --
After a rough summer, my team was finally restaffed by the fall and it seemed like things would go back to order, but they didn't. I still wasn't happy and my confidence was at its absolute lowest. While my new team was keen to identify my self doubt, they did little to help restore my spirit. I didn't feel like I could go on working at a place that caused me so much pain. I was ready for a change and I wanted that change to be meaningful - to my career, to my life.

By the end of September I'd been offered a new position in San Francisco and agreed to move across the country. Never once did I feel nervous or scared about my decision. Everything about it felt right.

Where I Am Now --
Next weekend will mark my fourth month in SF but it feels like I've been here longer. I'm so especially grateful for the opportunity to come here. Every morning I wake up excited and inspired to go to work. My team is brilliant, empowering and kind, and we have the privilege to work with the best-in-class clients that are smart and trusting. Here I actually have work-life balance. When I leave work I don't feel terrorized by any lingering thoughts from the day.

The people I've met here and the friends I've made are wonderfully compassionate and unique. They've already taught me a lot and have opened my eyes to new interests I would have never considered before. They too are adventurous, and brave. So many of them have uprooted their lives to be here and have provided the most amazing support during my transition to a new city.

What Is To Come --
There is so much still to come! Being in a new city with so much new territory to explore and new characters to meet. I'm sure I will have a ton to share!

To be continued... 

Saturday, February 21, 2015

My First Year In Advertising

1 year. 

It is hard to believe that I have been working full-time at 360i for 1 year. I often joke when I get the message to updated my email password saying, "Yay! I've made it another 90 days." This month my supervisor turned to me and said, " Marissa, if you're proud that you've made it another 3 months then we are clearly giving you the wrong impression."

I can't help but swell up with pride and happiness when I think about the year I've had. To say I've learned a lot would be a remarkable understatement. I'm so thrilled with the journey that has brought me to where I am today. Beginning as a trainee 2 months out of college at a company that not only values innovative thinking, but continuous learning was true blessing. The company culture was a huge player in fostering this year of growth. My first six months included working on two complete different accounts, providing me with diverse experience I could bring with me as I took on my permanent position in September. I'm grateful for everyone who not only noticed my hard work, determination and passion for advertising, but also saw my potential and rooted for me along the way.

Each day I feel privileged to not only do a job that I love and feel rewarded by, but also do it along side a team that inspires me to be the best. I could leave the office after a 12-hour workday with a smile on my face. I never feel defeated by my work, and always look for ways to do something better than before.

To another amazing year of doing what I love with people that inspire me. 

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

So You Got Your First Job... Now What?



It is still hard to believe that I've already been at my first job for over 3 months now. Time has flown by and graduation hardly feels like a thing of the past. In such a short amount of time I've learned so much. I'm very grateful for the experience I'm having which has really lent itself to not only my professional development but also my personal transformation into a professional. 

As I begin the second half of my program I thought it would be wise to reflect on the things I've learned so far and share the tips I have for those embarking on their first job, as well.

1. Listen
I spend a lot of time in meetings, and at first I used to take them for granted. Often I would go in not really knowing what was going on and had nothing to contribute, so I wasn't truly invested. As I spent more time on the account I grew more familiar with what was going on and began to listen, actually listen. While listening to my colleagues on client calls, leading brainstorms, and discussing current projects, I began to really take-in why they are so good at what they do. When I was finally hearing what they were saying I began to learn even more.

2. Do a little right, it will make a lot of difference
As a junior level employee I am often tasked with some of the most remedial assignments. These things include saving files, updating status docs, getting cupcakes, doing random research, etc. While many of my responsibilities don't require a college degree to complete, it does take a motivated employee to not only fulfill the responsibility, but to do it the right way. The more efficient you are and the more you exceed the expectations with even the smallest tasks, the greater impact they could have on your team, thus demonstrating your value.

3. Anticipate the needs of your team
When you're in a supporting role you report to busy people. Their role as your superior is to communicate what they need from you. Anticipating the needs of those you work with not only saves them time but also shows you're observant and thoughtful. It also shows that you can take direction and use it. This could be something as simple as noticing a scheduled phone call needs a conference room or volunteering to bring materials to a brainstorm.

4. Independent Learning
Remember that professor in college that gave you the option to read the textbook, telling you that it would help you but wasn't necessary to take the exam? In your first job there are no professors to encourage that independent learning but taking it upon yourself to be knowledgeable is key to success. When you're constantly up-to-date about your client, the industry and more, your team will look to you for answers. Another way to establish your value.

Consider setting aside some time each day to educate yourself. Each day I check out at what my clients are doing, what their competitors are doing, what's happening in their industry, what's happening in my industry, as well as general news. Tips for staying up-to-date without dedicating your life to seeking out the information:
  • Google alerts - can receive emails with new articles and such that match specific search terms. 
  • Twitter lists - can create lists of twitter users, allowing you to see just their tweets. 
  • Pick 5 - pick 5 trade publications and/blogs that you scan daily. 5 is realistic amount and will allow for both consistency on important news but some diversity with featured articles. My 5 are: 
    • AdAge
    • AdWeek
    • Mashable
    • Gothamist
    • Variety
    • Honorable mention: New York Times - mostly for theater stuff not job related
5. Be proactive
Speaking up to my superiors has been the hardest thing for me by far. In college I was always in charge, whether it be group projects, student organizations, or my day-to-day activities. Rarely did I have to ask someone for permission, approval or even something to do. It took some time to calibrate the balance between what's annoying and what's proactive. I also had to learn how to approach those I work with and consider approaching those I did not work with.

6. Express Interest
Expressing interest goes beyond liking what you're doing, which you should do to a certain extent, don't get me wrong. Don't forget to also express interest in learning and self improvement. Showing that you care about getting better at your job and helping to improve your team is important. Ultimately, you will not know everything and will not do everything perfectly the first time. Demonstrate that you want to be the best and do the best that you can do and those you work with with value your commitment to endless self-improvement.

First jobs are exciting, especially after how hard you work to get the damn job. I'm doing my best to take advantage of every moment, stay on my toes and just have fun. You should too!

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Forget the "What Ifs"

Last night  I saw my first Broadway show in over a year, and for those who know me probably can't believe that it's been so long. Since my last show, I've been in London, poor, in Boston, in Ithaca, and unemployed -- all of which are reasons that kept me away from my beloved Broadway. Though I saw numerous shows in the West End, and saw lovely productions at school, nothing quite felt as magical as last night did. When the prelude began I literally sat at the edge of my seat like a child and didn't budge until intermission.

If/Then, a show written by Next to Normal creators Tom Kit and Brian Yorkey, was absolutely the best choice for my Broadway reincarnation. The show told the story of Elizabeth, a brilliant woman who moves back to NYC  to launch the career of her dreams and find true love after an unsuccessful marriage. At the top of the show, Elizabeth is faced with two simple choices, both of which could change the entire course of her life. From there, two plot lines unfold as you follow alter-egos Liz and Beth, stemming from each choice Elizabeth could have made.


The music, the characters and the performances creatively develop the inspiring notion that in a single moment one could make a decision that determines the direction of their entire life. The show asks the audience to think about fate, destiny and true love. The message of the show, in my opinion, is to stop getting wrapped up in the "what ifs" of life. We can all look back at moments in our life and think about what if we had made a different decision, then  we wouldn't necessarily be where we are today.

Not only was this such a "feel everything" musical, which I absolutely loved, it had a story line and characters that I could relate so much to. I connected with Liz and how resistant she was about falling. Between her track record, career aspirations and fear of heartbreak, I knew exactly how she felt. I also connected with Beth who sacrifices her relationships for her career but is still fulfilled by her contributions and success. I connected with that idea that even though heartbreak is painful, if given the choice to love that person again you wouldn't even hesitate.

So many people have asked me why I love theater and seeing shows like If/Then remind me why. Theater has the power to make me laugh, cry, think, and smile.

If you can, go see If/Then. You won't regret it!

Thursday, April 3, 2014

The Intern Who Cried Wolf

I can't believe it's been over a month since I started my job. It feels like just yesterday that I was attending new-employee boot camp and orientating myself to my account teams. Now I truly feel like a real working woman. Each day is a unique learning experience and I truly feel privileged to work with such friendly and talented co-workers.

So far the biggest obstacles I've faced have been establishing my position on the team and keeping myself busy. When you take on a new position on-boarding can be difficult. It is necessary to not just feel accepted by the people you work with but also to take on a role that contributes to the team's goals.

Being a part of a program like the brand new trainee program, there is no precedent in regards to what role an account trainee fills on their assigned account team. It is up to the account team and the trainee to really mold what that looks like -- something new to both myself and those I am working with. This is both a opportunity and a challenge. 

My first instinct when I didn't have work to fill my day was to wait and see what my supervisors would give me. I figured if they had work that they need to have done and I was qualified, then they would offer it to me like a present.  I waited and waited and waited. Soon I realized that wasn't going to work.

My second instinct was to go and talk to someone about the fact that my days were unoccupied and I felt very disconnected from my team. I consulted other trainees about my decision to speak up and went as far as drafting an email. Even though I had their support regarding my decision to speak up, I ultimately I decided not to send the email.

It occurred to me that a helpless intern with no courage would do that. I was no longer an intern and that was by far what I wanted to prove to my teams. Running to upper management could have solved my problem but would have dropped my teams confidence in me. I am better than that. I'm stronger than that.

After having this epiphany, I made the conscious decision to make the effort to stay more connected to my team, check in regularly and be proactive. The only one being affected by my lack of gusto was myself. Since making this small change I've already seen a great difference in my teams confidence in me, handing me more work than ever. Their confidence in me has ignighted confidence in myself.

Don't be the little intern that cried wolf. Instead be the confident full-time employee that demonstrates her interest, availability and commitment.